GOOD ADVICE FROM A FRIEND

A conversation between Edward Sung & Ryan Rowe
Thursday, October 14th, 2004, 11:30pm
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I've always been afraid of failure and I don't know if I can ever change that. Earlier tonight I was telling one of my fellow IMBA classmates this, and he gave me some excellent advice.  I found it wise enough that I'd like to share the conversation with you via my website.

 

edward sung:
How many hours do you sleep a night?

ryan rowe:
It's off and on.

I do my best work under pressure.

What fucks me up is when I have a lot of time for something.

That's what happened with accounting.

Intl. Acctg.

edward sung:
Why? You did most of the work last night?

ryan rowe:
We were at Schulich until 3 but that's not what I'm talking about.

Our group gelled well together, but we didn't organize the project properly.

Putting that project together was probably the most painful academic experience I've had in a while.

edward sung:
Are you used to straight As?

ryan rowe:
No, not used to them. I only get them if I try.

And I really want them here.

But all these crazy opportunities keep popping up.

It's scaring me because I don't know how to say no.

I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it all up.

edward sung:
What opportunities?

ryan rowe:
ycg; case comp; internship; exchange; straight a's; enjoying life; getting to know my fellow imbas

not in that order.

edward sung:
Funny thing about life: when you care too much about fucking up something, you do worse.

It's better to look at your situation from a different viewpoint

ryan rowe:
Ya, no shit!

Like what?

Reframe this please, Ed.

edward sung:
Average person doesn't get the chance to do as much as you.

Don't look at the root of the tree or else you won't see the branches.

Fortune cookie message I got once.

ryan rowe:
Yeah but Ed, you see, that's the thing.

About the average person...

I'm just an average person that seizes the day.

And so it looks like I have great achievements, but really it's because I tried for stuff.

edward sung:
OK What's the worst that could happen if you fuck this stuff up? You got 45 or so years to retirement. 2 years is nothing. Fucking up is when people learn.

ryan rowe:
Good point, I guess I feel like I already learned my lesson, I'm just not applying it.

edward sung:
In 20 years is when you'll know the secret to success. I don't know many self-made millionaires in their 30's. You can only know so much in 30 years.

Experience and failure are what teach us and if you fail sometimes that's an omen. Because this is a great practice field to fail in (we're not in the real world now). The big picture is much bigger.

ryan rowe:
That's good advice.

Have you ever failed?

edward sung:
A lot. I was crappy in school, I screwed up with my girlfriend, and I  was afraid of failure. But then I started learning French and I realized that you only get good if you screw up and make mistakes. My French got better from making mistakes and so did my attitude to challenges.

ryan rowe:
Wow, that's a great analogy.

edward sung:
If you screw up and you tried your best, it means you weren't ready to succeed at that because you lacked some knowledge.

That's why I'm in the MBA. I lack formal business knowledge.

ryan rowe:
You see, that's interesting. I have a business degree - why am I doing an MBA?

Maybe on some level I'm scared to enter the real world.

edward sung:
Use this as a testing ground for your talents and knowledge. Be humble and accept imperfection. In fact, seek out where you need improvement and be happy when you find you didn't succeed. A successful person had this advice (don't remember his/her name)

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