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MESSAGE FORUM & BULLETIN BOARD
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Sian Thanks for taking an interest in my night in NYC and for taking the time to share your opinions. I will not excuse my judgement since I believe it is justified and accurate. I will, however, elaborate my justification for you, since it was not clearly done in the original text. (I hesitate to report that most people who know me would agree that I have an instinctive character-judging ability, because you may misunderstand this to mean that I rely solely on this talent and that I believe myself infallible. 4This is not the case.) My comfort at Detour was due to the manner in which I was received. I belonged there as much as anyone else who was there that night, with the exception of the children in their fancy clothes. The bar was far from full and the only patrons (aside from me) on the premises were regulars. Nonetheless, I too had to prove that I deserved to infiltrate the clique. I couldn’t just walk up to the actor and the filmmaker and say, “Hey, I’m from Montreal. Our film work is world-renowned. Tell me what you think.” Instead I joined their conversation when it veered toward a topic in which I’m interested and affluent: musical impact throughout the rock era. We eventually began exchanging questions, satisfying our individual curiosities. The bartender was even easier to penetrate, since she was almost unaware of my presence. Sure, at first, she treated me like any stranger who comes in to the bar alone. She tried to ask me a few vague questions and size up my story. She tried to figure out how I’d wound up at Detour and what kind of mood I was in. The purpose for this, as a good bartender should know, is threefold. First, you want to make your customer feel comfortable enough to stay past their first pint and hopefully even return on anoth4er occasion. Second, many strange and dangerous things can happen in a bar, and with any properly run business, the staff should be cautious of everyone who enters their establishment. Third, and I’m sure you’ve anticipated, curiosity is the blood that allows us all to learn, grow, and develop. If we weren’t curious, we’d be boring and we’d never amount to anything. It was a slow night and Jackie was relatively bored by the circumstances. She had nobody to serve and she couldn’t smoke a cigarette without l4eaving the bar vacant. It was a natural response that she should make small chat. She respectfully hovered back and forth between the more familiar characters in the conversation of the two artists to my left and my discussion of my trip and my inquiry into New York’s anti-smoking law. Still, this was only to break the ice. It wasn’t until the band showed up, her regular group of friends, that I faded into the background and Jackie opened up. I had already told me before he showed up that the drummer is also a bartender at Detour. As the bassist walked in, she told me that he’s a great bass player and that he has great hands. (Read what you want into that. I didn’t touch it.) When the whole group had arrived and were just sitting alone at tables near the bar, speaking loudly to each other, it was as if they were the only ones4 left in the bar. In fact, this seemed to be everyone else’s cue to leave. I therefore had two options. I could extricate myself from the group and possibly even leave, or integrate myself. I chose the latter. While I sat there, Jackie revealed that she had been embarrassingly drunk the night before. That her boyfriend had left early and she had stuck around until well after closing. The drummer, Pat, filled her in on a couple of details from the night that were blank in her mind, such as her karaoke on th4e bar PA or her announcement and audition to the bar that she wanted to become a dancer. It was a close group and an unrestrained conversation. I didn’t mind being ignored at first, but I found my niche after a while and I fit right in. You’re right. Most people are shy and not forthcoming with information when they meet a total stranger in thirty minutes or less. Especially a bartender, whose job it is to socialise with so many Gap-clad generics, cannot be expected to reveal herself to inquisitive tourists. She didn’t. Jackie had a perfectly common-place conversation with her friends, while I sat amongst them over a period of three and a half hours. This wasn’t a typical situation and I payed close attention to the finer points of the ni4ght. I learned acutely and I’m not afraid to say that I’m fairly confident in my observations. we all shine on let’s begin TheMaker Reply by Sian Oaten on September 23, 2003. --> Reply by TheMaker on September 24, 2003. |
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